True but thats because hes a fetus.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
