ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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