I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The power of my boobs compel you
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
