A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
why is half of my head shaved?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
