Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
