its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He's on the porch naked. Help.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
