I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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