Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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