Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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