please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
