i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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