It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
