Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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