ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
