I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
