if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
