do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
two words...techno handjob
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
