So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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