let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
