I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
