You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
