Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
