dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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