Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
