I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
