I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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