Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
