We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
