two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
