My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
