Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
