a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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