An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
