I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
