I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
