so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
