You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
