I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize
