He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
