I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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