You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
