Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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