am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
