some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
