Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
