she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
