I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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