i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
