I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Randomize
