Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(571): View more from Virginia

I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.

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(325): View more from Texas

I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."

Fav 17 9787 1961
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?

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(817): View more from Texas

then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.

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(240): View more from Maryland

He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.

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(613): View more from Ontario

never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.

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